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Hello! I’m the Nostalgic Christian. Holding Christian movies up to the same standards as other films. I just received a text called, “Eat Lucky Charms.” So apparently a bunch of my friends just saw this movie called The Lucky Charms Diet and based only on the movie, they have all decided that they are going to send me these text messages to try to get me to eat Lucky Charms all the time. Now, don’t get me wrong I love Lucky Charms. I’m so surprised that so many of my friends are persuaded from this two-hour commercial. I mean, it seems really obvious that the whole thing is more of a marketing campaign, then it really is a movie about promoting healthy eating. It all just seems really ridiculous and speaking of ridiculous, welcome to my review of God’s Not Dead.
What is it? Well, it’s a Christian film produced by the Christian production company, Pureflix. A production company, you probably would have never heard of, if it wasn’t for this movie. The movie is inspired by one of those chain email forwards leftover from the 90s that keeps getting passed around by that old lady from your church, who forwards it to everybody in her contacts list.
There are many variations of this story. Typically, it is about a Christian young man that dares to challenge the teachings of his atheist professor and subsequently, the student leads every single one of his classmates to Jesus. Some versions of the story say that kid is Albert Einstein and others say he is Marilyn Manson or something. But I digress, digression is not my intention. I would rather just review this movie. So, here we go.
Boy, I sure hope this isn’t a dirty movie. Oh good, it’s a Pureflix. An unnecessarily gaudy logo. I was worried this wasn’t going to perpetuate the cheap Christian film stereotype. So the movie begins, without voiceover! Woah, thank goodness! Remove a sin for that one–wrong show. What!? God’s DEAD? Oh, I get it (“not” is written in afterward). This movie is good at telling jokes “not” jokes as Borat does. Alright, down to business, the movie starts out by taking us on a tour of this college campus. It introduces us to all of these people. We don’t realize this yet, but we are going to follow the storyline of every single person you’ve seen in the movie so far. They are all lead actors in this film because that’s where their $2 million budget went.
Our main character is getting his class schedule until something goes terribly wrong. Josh Whedon? The director from the Avengers? Or should I say the “not” Avengers. Wheaton steps up to sign up for Philosophy 150 and the staff sees the cross on Wheaton’s necklace and tells him he shouldn’t take the class. We are not even three minutes into the film and we are already playing the victimized Christian card. Lions, witches, and wardrobes!
Next scene happens and jumps into another movie, where we are introduced to the next main character. Her character is summed up by these three simple bumper stickers. All designed to scream to the audience, “I’m a liberal!” I’m pretty sure that “I heart evolution” sticker isn’t real. It looks like it was printed off with the director’s inkjet. Her car door window is busted, serves her right. For her being an animal-loving humanist evolutionist AKA not a Christian.
Alright, another character, and it’s Superman! Now, we know that she is a reporter maybe like Lois Lane or something? And he is a total jerk.
Check out the video review for an even longer list of the main characters and finally get to the plot of the movie!
As a Christian, you don’t want to corrupt your soul by watching dirty movies. No, no—you want your movies to be pure. Wait a second… pure flicks? I think there’s an online service for that. Not a filthy, secular streaming service like Netflix, but a pure, Christian streaming service. Oh, that’s right: Pureflix! Stay pure. Watch flix. Try Pureflix.
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