RUSH. Force propels you skyward, and you hold your breath. The atmosphere blazes around you with life, and you savor the momentum. Then it slows, and a sense of calm washes over you. Gravity decreases, and you begin to float. Finally, you see it.
The moon – humanity’s next frontier. Few have tread upon its craterous surface. None have made it their home. None until Say Goodnight Kevin. And he’s invited you, his friend, to join him in colonizing the moon!
Earth is full of scary things like adpocalypses, demonetization, yellow dollar signs, and COPPA. The only safe place for free-thinking YouTubers and their fans to go is outer space! Thankfully, there’s a lot of room up here.
The SGK Plus Moon Colony may start small, but it already has the essentials: Bargain Bin episodes, Banned Videos, the Javi Cut, and Exclusive Content just waiting to be constructed for your enjoyment! It’s coming together nicely, but Kevin needs your help to really bring the place to life.
Your space shuttle begins its descent to the SGK Plus Colony outpost. The docking sequence is initiated, and you hear the airlock decompress, signifying a successful landing. You have arrived.
The inside of the outpost looks very futuristic, and gravity is on. You step into a metal corridor and are led by some guy named Roger to the control room. There you are greeted by Kevin himself, who is very excited to give you the latest mission report! He then asks you what kind of colonist would you like to be: a Moon Colony Participant, a Crew Member, an Outpost Engineer, a Colony Administrator, a Mission Control Member, or Mayor for the Day? That last one sounds especially interesting. You ask him about each option. His super-cool wife Carmen walks you over to a giant viewport overlooking the stellar landscape and gives you a quick debriefing.
Moon Colony Participants
Moon Colony Participants, she says as holographic words project onto the glass, join the colony even though they’re not financially involved in projects. They’ll be kept up-to-date with the official newsletter and are able to check out videos from the SGK Plus Basic Video Library, which is under construction.
She then explains that Crew Members are involved in contributing to the colony for only $7 a month. They get to attend the OFFICIAL monthly LIVE colony mission briefs, have fun in the SGK Creative Team Facebook Group (we’re still social on the moon), and discuss future colony expansions with Kevin and other colony members! They also enjoy the Moon Colony Participant benefits.
According to Carmen, Outpost Engineers get to enjoy the previously mentioned benefits AND are privy to exclusive SGK Plus gear – all for $10 a month! The moon’s harsh terrain is difficult to tame, so our moon colony expansion mission requires the right tools. Thankfully, as Outpost Engineers, you’ll receive just the tools you need! Plus, Outpost Engineers are granted access to the full SGK Plus Video Library!
At $25 a month, Colony Administrators get all the previous benefits AND are recognized for their contributions to the colony, Carmen says. As a Colony Administrator, your name will be listed in the end credits of EVERY new Say Goodnight Kevin video! And, as soon as you sign up, you’ll be given the super-secret SGK Plus moon base survival packet!
Carmen then explains that, at $50 a month, Mission Control Members not only get everything that she’s mentioned thus far, but they also get a personal shout-out from Kevin at the end of his videos! If you’re a Mission Control Member, Kevin will use your name or the name of your own creative project for the shoutout – whichever you prefer!
Finally, Carmen tells you about the long-awaited Colony Mayor for the Day. At $100 a month, you’ll get everything she’s already mentioned, AND you’ll get to pick what movie Kevin reviews next! You can even make an appearance in that review. It’s like getting a gigantic Key to the Colony!
The presentation is over, and you focus on the stars out the viewport, bright and beckoning. The lunar landscape looks mysterious and full of promise. Now it’s your choice – do you want to stay on the SGK Plus Moon Colony? If yes, as what?
If you’re already a Patreon Supporter and are considering making the moon your new home, Kevin offers you a free month’s “rent” to think it over before you solidify the switch. If you’re a brand-new SGK supporter and choose to become an Outpost Engineer or higher, you’ll get a super cool tumbler as a welcome gift! You need to stay hydrated on the moon, after all. Wherever you come from, and whatever you choose to be, Kevin and Carmen are excited to have you on the moon!
Artwork by strawberry_usagi_ on Instagram and used with permission.
Lilia Cosavalente
Writer and Social Media Guru
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Meme’s for JESUS? Michael Schaffer and Matt Matias
Episode 018 | Say Goodnight Kevin Podcast
Michael Schaffer and Matt Matias from the “Memes for Jesus” podcast join Kevin for a rip-roaring good conversation about what it’s like making “funny” content for, about, and with Christians on the world wide web. It’s the interview no one asked for, but boy howdy will you be begging for more after you hear this fantastic discussion! Enjoy!
Top 5 Say Goodnight Kevin Christmas MovieNights!
IT’S CHRISTMAAAAS! And what better way to kick off the holiday season than by watching CHRISTIAN Christmas movies?
John Wick, But It’s Saul Goodman – Nobody Review
My favorite criminal lawyer goes hardcore on some bad guys. A Must See.
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I need to find myself a hundred bucks cus the benefits of a colony mayor are out of this world. Well, then again, the colony is out of this world so that makes sense.
Your pun game is on-point! Thanks so much for supporting SGK!